Because I’m getting absolutely nowhere with my effort to find a word for 2017, here be a meme.
1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
Quite a lot of stuff, actually. Here’s what comes to mind:
I’ve participated in a spiritual community online (the Church of the Larger Fellowship, a Unitarian Universalist congregation).
I’ve travelled to go to the concert of a world-famous band in a giant arena (Mumford & Sons).
I’ve finished online therapy in a good place.
I’ve been on a hiking vacation in Ireland.
I’ve travelled to Nebraska and back all on my own.
I got to see the prairie! And the Badlands! And the Toadstools! (My best friend took me out West, and it was fabulous.)
I’ve been a passenger in two car races!
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I had intentions instead of resolutions: “I want to be careful with myself. I want to keep myself safe, sheltered and shielded. I need rest and comfort and support. I need ease and relief. Lightness instead of tightness.”
Yeah, no. That didn’t work out so well. The world kept intruding with floodings and terror attacks and Brexit and Trump and all kinds of unhappy news. All of that really got to me in a bad way. I feel like I’ve spent all year living with a sense of neverending dread hanging over me.
Unfortunately, 2016 also featured absolutely unnecessary drama in some personal relationships. So instead of getting the support I needed, I got hurt badly or had to clarify that I have limits and am willing to defend them, too. I guess that means I at least tried to keep myself mostly safe? *sighs* But 2016 wasn’t all bad that way! Fandom friends sent me the most amazing care packages and offered unquestioning acceptance and support. My best friend is the most awesome friend ever.
I’ve been way more daring than I wanted to be, and that wasn’t entirely a bad thing. But I think I’m mostly still in the same place as a year ago: I just want to hide and heal. And that’s just not going to happen. :(
So I guess my intention for next year remains that I’m going to try and take good care of myself at all times, as much as I can. And that I’ll try to remember to be gentle with myself.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A fandom friend had a baby in November.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
“Close” is relative, isn’t it? A fandom acquaintance who was a mainstay of my corner of Harry Potter fandom died. Fandom is such a closely knit community that a loss like that is keenly felt. And of course some of the celebrity deaths this year hit closer to home than others…
5. What countries did you visit?
Ireland and the US. \o/
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
That one thing I want more than anything else. Always more time. And more energy.
7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Brexit and the American election.
I’ve never experienced so much helpless horror at political events as I have this year.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Nothing. Well, I’m still alive. I guess that’s something?
9. What was your biggest failure?
I don’t think that’s a healthy way of looking at yourself or your year. And I’m doing my best not to do that, even though sometimes I feel almost overpowered by the question: “When did my life go so wrong?”
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. Stress and worries have exacerbated my chronic health issues again, so I’m struggling with various kinds of back pain and asthma. Wheee!
11. What were the best things you bought?
The Roomba and the Braava. I’m pretty neat by nature. Not overly fussy, but I like having a sort of clean home. But working full time, I’ve never quite managed to maintain the standard I’d like to enjoy. Thanks to the robots that’s possible now.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My cats. They always need to be celebrated, no matter how they behave. But they are really good cats. ♥
13. Whose behaviour appalled you?
The behaviour of countless politicians in Germany, the UK, and the US. What people say online, without the filter of possible repercussions provided by offline life. Because I know they think the same things offline, and I don’t even want to know what they would do given half a chance…
How some people online treated me.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Travelling!
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The prairie. I had no idea how much I had needed to see and sense and smell and hear this landscape. One of the most amazing experiences of my life. (Thank you, Aranel!!!)
Pokémon Go. OMG, I’m enjoying that game so much. Catching or hatching a rare ‘mon still excites me.
My robots. Still excited every time I watch them doing their thing.
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
No one song. But I’ve been listening to the Amazon Prime playlist “Indie für entspannte Wintertage” (“Indie for relaxed winter days”) for weeks now, and I love how I can relax into this sound.
(For the curious amongst you: “New Slang” by The Shins, “Waltz #1” by Elliott Smith, “Back To You” by the Mighty Oaks, “Ufo” by Rue Royale, “Crash and Burn” by Angus & Julia Stone, “You Were Born” by Cloud Cult, “Follow the Sun” by Xavier Rudd, “Babys” by Bon Iver, “Inside of Love” by Nada Surf, “Seven Day Mile” by The Frames, “Cardinal Song” by The National, “The Engine Driver” by the Decemberists, “Young Bodies” by Sea Wolf, “Transatlanticism” by Death Cab For Cutie, “Plastic Cup” by Low, “Slow Cruel Hands of Time” by Band Of Horses, “The Moon” by Swell Season, “Blue Chicago Moon” by Songs: Ohia, “Stubborn Love” by The Lumineers, “You’re Too Weird” by the Fruit Bats, “The Rainbow” by Ben Kweller, “Funeral Beds” by The Districts, “Falling Slowly” by Glen Hansardd and Marketa Irglova, “Orange Sky” by Alexi Murdoch, “Providence” by Lisa Mitchell, “I Bet On You (Stripped Down)” by Lissie, “Beach Baby” by Bon Iver, “The Only Thing” by Sufjan Stevens, “Cavalier” by James Vincent McMorrow, “November Blue” by the Avett Brothers, “Easier” by Grizzly Bear, “Lakeside View Apartments Suite” by the Mountain Goats, “Julie Come Out of The Rain” by Josh Rouse, “Falling Back” by Jon Allen, “Such Great Heights (Remastered)” by Iron & Wine.)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder. God, what a year.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing and art.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Being sick and sad and scared.
20. How did you spend Christmas and/or New Year’s?
Christmas: at home with HH and the cats.
New Year’s: around the corner with friends-around-the-corner.
21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
No.
22. How many one-night stands?
I’m monogamously married.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Outlander.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate… meh. Not enough energy for that.
25. What was the best book you read?
I absolutely loved “His Royal Secret” and “His Royal Favourite” by Lilah Pace. It’s a British royalty AU m/m romance. The characterisation is awesome, the conflict is believable, the writing is sometimes funny, sometimes touching… Wonderful comfort reading.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Not one song, but Amazon Music. I’m not big into music, so their small selection of playlists by mood or genre really appeals to me.
27. What did you want and get?
An iPhone 7 Plus.
28. What did you want and not get?
That one thing I want more than anything. And… let’s see… where to start… Health? The UK staying in the EU? A sane American president?
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”. I actually managed to make it to the cinema quite a few times! I saw “Star Trek Beyond”, “Magnificent Seven”, “Doctor Strange” and “Fantastic Beasts”. *is proud*
30. What did you do on your birthday?
I think we went out to dinner.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Trump drowning in a pool of pig shit.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Everything is full of holes. Tiny, claw-shaped holes that gradually turn into bigger holes. Men’s clothes.
33. What kept you sane?
Lots and lots and lots of walking. Many, many bubble baths. The cats.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
No one. I don’t really do that fancying thing.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
That’s a toss-up between Brexit and Trump.
36. Who did you miss?
Artless. Lizard (Spencer). Miss_T.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Well, I already knew them before, but meeting Zilia and her husband offline for the first time in spring and then having Kriti stay with me in October was fabulous!
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
I don’t think I learned any lesson I wasn’t already aware of… Politics suck. Being dumped by a friend sucks. Back pain sucks. Asthma sucks. Being worried for family and friends sucks.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
But I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neckAnd I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again‘Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I’ll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind
(“The Cave” by Mumford & Sons)