I figured that if I can’t manage to write anything else, at least I should try to come up with a review of the month.
(Does anyone have a template for a monthly review that’s supposed to be helpful in a therapeutic/psychological sense?)
So how about January 2017?
(+) Honestly, the best part was coming out online on January 1. I had been so fucking scared of that, and as it turns out, I really had no reason to be. It was no big deal. And the people who did comment were super nice and supportive. Why did I spend years struggling with that and freaking out over that?
Thank you so much for your support! ♥
(-) I wanted to continue working on a series of essays about coming to terms with being agender which I started for therapy, and which I want to post on my blog eventually, but I simply had no brain space and no energy left for that. The topic I’m currently tackling is “social transition”, which is really tricky for non-binary people to start with, and over here even more… Most people here have never heard of the term “asexual”, much less “agender”. That’s a huge problem. But the wave of the gender debate is slowly rolling across the Atlantic ocean – this carnival I’ve already witnessed several stand-up comedians making awful jokes about the topic that confuse sexual orientation with gender identity… Anyway; I didn’t manage to do that, and I’m trying not to be disappointed in myself about that but instead to give myself whatever time I need. When I’m ready, I’ll finish the essays, and I’ll post them for the world to see.
(+) I’ve started two paid translations projects in January. I have work, and I enjoy it. And I’m actually getting things done!
(-) The weight of the world has really weighed me down this January. I didn’t anticipate how the advent of the age of Trump would kill me inside. But at the moment I dread waking up every morning and reading the news and what feeds I’ve subscribed to and what facebook accounts I follow… For good reason; no day passes without delivering something new that’s dreadful and depressing.
(+) In terms of good news: The Social Democrats in Germany have picked Martin Schulz, the former president of the EU parliament, as their candidate. Because the current chairman and vice chancellor stepped back from that opportunity since he doesn’t believe he could be successful. (When has something like that ever happened before??? A potentially problematic candidate not insisting to run?!) I’ve heard some of Schulz’s speeches in the EU parliament, and I’m very impressed with him. Which means that no matter who wins the German election this year, I think it will be okay. Such a relief!
(+) I managed to stay fairly active and put in many winter walks thanks to Pokémon Go. Only last week I caved due to the freezing temperatures and barely poked my nose outside the doors… I’ve also started exercises for arms and shoulders with weights again.
(-) My back is unhappy with me. My back is where the stress I’m suffering from manifests… alas. Unfortunately, I’m also suffering from some new and awful symptoms – lingering numbness in my hands. So I’ve seen an orthopedist and a neurologist in January. So far there’s no diagnosis. But I have a wrist brace to wear at night now. Hopefully that will help.
(+) My Dad is much more cheerful since the successful cataract surgery.
(-) Visiting him every other week to take care of him is taking a lot out of me. Even when he has a good day, spending four hours a day travelling (two hours one way) is exhausting. Also, we’re still waiting for some news concerning his health, and unfortunately they might be the worst.
(+) Thanks to the Roomba and the Braava I feel like I can finally keep up with cleaning. I’m orderly by nature, but damn, cleaning takes so much time! So far it was always either cleaning or paid work, and paid work is naturally more important. Now I can get both done! It’s amazing. I’m still working on the perfect weekly and monthly schedule, but it’s really working, and I’m very happy about that.
(+) We’re trying out a cooking box. I haven’t been in a place where I’ve had enough spoons to make up weekly meal plans in the last two years, so I’ve been looking into cooking boxes to add variety to our meals. We’re currently trying out the Kochhaus box for three weeks, and so far we’re very impressed.
(+) I managed to get a hot stone massage! We went to the spa one Sunday, and in between swimming and sauna, I squeezed in a massage. It was wonderfully relaxing. I’m going to try and get a different massage every month now…
(+/-) Reading… I’ve started reading a German book, I’ve picked up reading a non-fiction book where I left off, and I’m on the third book of re-reading a cosy mysteries series. So… could be better/could be worse?
(+) I’ve tried something new! I’ve started playing “World of Warcraft”, thanks to Aranel. ♥ So far it’s quite fun, but I don’t have a lot of time and energy for it. :(
(-) No writing. No art. I’ve been thinking of writing and arting, but I just frequently have absolutely no spoons left at the end of the day or week. I’m happy to just eat and cuddle the cats and have a bubble bath and sleep and sleep and sleep. Well, I’ve committed some Instagrams, at least!
(+) I have been getting out and about. Taking care of my Dad, doctors appointments, a friend’s birthday, a day at the spa… usually there’s at least one day a week where I have to leave the flat. I can’t say I always enjoy that, but I guess it’s still good for me.
Alright, I think that’s about it. Now, what about February? Do I have any intentions or goals for the next month?
- I want to keep up the good work with the Roomba and the Braava and my own efforts
- I want to keep the cooking box for more variety and more fun cooking with HH
- I want to keep up with the various aspects of self-care, physical, mental, emotional
- I want to read more
- I want to write something
- I want to do something creative
- I want to stay as productive in terms of paid work as I’ve been in Janaury