I actually managed to do day 2 of “Finding My Word” yesterday even though we were away from home for most of the day, visiting my mother. But I dithered about sharing even parts of what I came up with for day 2 since it feels fairly depressing.
In the end I decided to at least kind of post a summary. So here goes:
For day 2, I had to ponder a few questions and write down my thoughts about them.
- What is definitely happening in 2017?
- What are you hoping will happen in 2017?
- What dreams would you like to nurture in 2017?
- What area(s) of your life is/are asking to be supported in 2017?
- What qualities do you want to develop in yourself?
- What does your heart need?
What is definitely happening in 2017?
I wish I could say “something I want more than anything else”… but right now I’m struggling with chronic health issues so I have no energy left to pursue any big projects. Not to mention that those health issues may affect my options.
So I guess the only thing that will definitely happen in 2017 is more struggling.
What are you hoping will happen in 2017?
Less struggling. LOL! Less drama. Oh, and that one thing.
What dreams would you like to nurture in the new year?
I don’t really have any dreams left to nurture at this point.
Honestly, I have no idea what wanting to nurture a dream would feel or look like.
I mean, I know I should want to nurture my creativity, my art and my writing, but that seems like such a chore I feel already exhausted just thinking about it.
What area(s) of your life are asking to be supported in 2017?
My health. I need to sort out my back and shoulders, see my pulmonologist again, final deal with some skin issues, plus make time for the usual check-ups. Finally stop talking about getting regular massages again and actually make appointments. Can you believe that I wanted to do that last January but I honestly didn’t have time to do it up until now? Or maybe subconsciously I’m somehow convinced I don’t deserve that. *shrugs*
My job. I need to work more. Now I just need the energy to actually be able to do that. *sighs*
My marriage. I need to be a better partner. Another thing at which I suck more and more.
What qualities do you want to develop in yourself?
I want to get better at “holding space” – sitting with someone’s pain instead of trying to fix it or soothe it away or even worse, dismiss it in any way (for example by saying “don’t take it personally” or “it could be worse”).
To listen better. That one’s always on my list, because I’m caught up in my own head so much. But I really do want to listen. I want to listen to understand or at least accept – and not for my turn to speak.
I want to challenge my opinions and convictions so that I can be sure that I am able to change my mind. I want to be able to always believe that I could be wrong, even if I passionately believe in something.
I want to forgive myself and be gentle with myself.
What does your heart need?
Healing. Comfort. Understanding. Love. Listening. (That someone really listens to me, too.)