I’ve started the search for my word 2017 today.
The first step was a visualisation of my ideal day in 2017.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I have an ideal day apart from “everyone I love is alive and no one dies”. But I’m told I tend towards catastrophising so I should probably just try to imagine a nice day minus the usual Armageddon that lives in my brain.
Okay. I’m alive. Everyone I love is alive. Especially family, friends, and cats. Everyone else is, too. (Feeling very tempted to add a list of what kind of people I consider optional to my personal well-being, but that’s probably not good for my karma.)
…most of all, I wake without any kind of pain.
At the moment I can’t even imagine such a state. Memory is such a weird mess! I remember being barely able to remember the kind of chronic pain I’m in now and have been for weeks and weeks. Anyway. No pain.
No, seriously. NO PAIN AT ALL.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around that idea. And you need to know, I’m still at this super easy level of chronic pain where you are in pain when you wake, and then when you overdo things, but you still have long stretches without pain in between. I haven’t had a day without any pain in months, but I’m still without pain for a couple of hours at a time each day and each night. Not necessarily the hours I’d like, but still a fair number of hours. But we’re talking about an ideal day, right? So there. NO PAIN, PLEASE. AT ALL.
Next step: No squirrel brain. No desperate mental scrambling because I’m worried about something or because I’m bored. Let’s have work that allows me to focus easily. Work that flows and fulfills me.
Which also means that I’ll get done with work at a good time or make enough progress to take a break at a good time. Then I’ll take a walk. Yes, I admit it: probably to catch some Pokémon and take pictures for Instagram. But mostly just to walk and walk and walk and take another step and another breath to really feel how I keep going and going and going… until there’s no thought and no worry left in my mind.
Then, get back home and get on with the day. Chores and dinner and chatting with HH…
At night, I’d still be awake enough and have enough energy to write or chat with friends or read or do some more work.
Finally, to lie down without pain and with peace of mind…